ZEYNEP OKUR GUNER, PhD

In my previous newsletter, I discussed about perfectionism, how it develops and what are the consequences on our children. This week, I want to discuss practical ways we help our kids dealing with perfectionism. Before discussing what helps, it is important to start with what does not help. Any parent who lives with a little perfectionist knows that saying things like ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself!”; “Ease up a little !” does not work. These comments often make them feel mis

“Perfectionism is broadly defined as a combination of excessively high personal standards and overly self critical evaluations” state Curran and Hill (2019). Perfectionism in adolescence has risen dramatically since the 1980’s. A recent UK study suggested that 85.4% of UK teenagers show perfectionist tendencies and 52% of them felt their perfectionist tendencies had a negative impact on their mental health. Perfectionists are different from excellence seekers. The former stri

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” Japanese proverb Research has been clear since the early 60’s: high parental expectations on academics lead to higher achievement. We need to hold our children up to high standards, whether in academics or moral values… Furthermore kids, especially teenagers, should be busy enough so they do not get bored and start getting into trouble. When we set high standards our children perfo